Randomness

To look at my little pumpkin you would not think she was feeling icky, she's still all smiles despite her leaky nose. Once again after two trips to the doctor, we know it's nothing to worry about and unlike her first cold, she has no ear infection. I think it's got to do with teething. A few of the other little ones in kindermusik had yucky noses too and all the moms said it's from teething. I'm just glad this time it's not making it hard for her to sleep because when Juliette doesn't sleep, Mommy doesn't sleep. And that's not a very happy mommy in the daytime.

I was just looking back through the flip videos we took of her when she was teeny and I can't believe how much has changed. Seeing her everyday, you don't notice little things. I still see her hands as tiny, but those little newborn hands were sooooooo tiny! The other moms in class were talking about when they were going to try to have another baby, and for a second (a very quick second mind you) the memories of her tiny little body all squishy in my arms came back. But then reality comes back and I KNOW I wouldn't be able to do this again and devote all my energy to a new little person with a big girl Juliette running around. So after today, my new goal is to enjoy each smile, babble, diaper change, nursing, sleepy time, bath, walk outside, and discovery of everything that is new to her and not wish for the next step in her life to come. I only get one shot at this. Josh is keeping a count of the days left of school and I think this is the first time in my life when I am wishing for summer not to come because I know how fast it will end and with it my time as a full time mommy. I hate the idea of going back to work, but I know it has to come. I wish I could do one of those jobs they advertise that the people make 10,000 dollars a month and only work an hour a day or some crap like that. I've been trying to get in touch with the baby sitter I want and she hasn't called me back in two days. It's a little discouraging to think of handing my baby over to someone who doesn't seem to like the idea of returning a phone call. Oh well...it's late, so I better get off to bed. Tomorrow is supposed to be beautiful so I'm going to take Juliette downtown to walk around outside. She needs some fresh air and mommy needs some exercise. I'm going to enjoy watching my daughter get so excited to feel the wind in her face and watch her little legs pump in the air and forget about frustration if she crawls into my lap while I am trying to eat lunch to see if she can scam some grown up food (which she did tonight and came away with a tator tot) or when she throws her cup for the 20th time and then demands I give it back to her. I'm going to read her her favorite books and shout for joy when she lifts the flap to find baby's Easter eggs. I'm going to tickle her until she laughs her deep belly laugh. I'm going to have to scissor hold her to suck out her nose and feed her puffy treats when I'm doing. I'm going to be a mom.